“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation, where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” -Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (“I Have A Dream” speech at The March on Washington, August 28th, 1963)
What is character and why is it a principal of entrepreneurial fitness? It is because your reputation in the marketplace and in your community is dependent upon it. There is a lengthy list of examples of how a reputation of poor character and golden character has made and broken high profiled individuals. When someone makes an attempt at character assassination, what is it that is being assailed? You could say the reputation, but it is what is in the reputation that is at stake. It is that thing that commands respect from your fellowmen and women. That is character. It is good to be liked, favored and popular. However, it is something altogether different to be respected. Your goal should be to earn trust and respect. There is a common level of respect to which we are all due by virtue of being born human and having life in us. Then there is another level of respect which is synonymous with “honor”.
My grandfather once told me that the two most important gifts he could give his son is his life and then his name, and it was his goal to never get his name dirty and be a burdensome shame to his son who would have to apologize for it later in life. He wanted his son to be proud to be a “Perkins” and a Jr. and have that name open up doors for him, not close them and it did. It is character that builds stock in your name. People will name drop you and quote you to add meaning, weight and authority to whatever it is that they are saying that they can not carry on their own. It really does have tremendous value in the marketplace. Think of what happens whenever Oprah slaps her signature name on anything. Everything she stands for gets attached to it. It is part of your brand, and you should want to protect it all costs. Your character symbolizes the values you stand for that we all hold as worthy ideals. Your brand should be respected and trusted.
The funny thing about character is that you can’t fake it. You can’t buy it. You can’t rent it. You can not adopt it. It must come from within at the deepest core of your truth as authentically yours. What do you stand for? What would you die for? What’s worth fighting for? If you have never asked yourself these questions and decided on an answer, chances are you have not done the work of developing your character; who you will BE in this world. If you don’t decide that, you leave it up to the world to tell you who you are, who you're going to be and give you a name and a place, usually an obscure designation among the general population; a nobody, just background to the happenings of the world and never a center stage actor. Entrepreneurs must have enough ego to be at least dissatisfied with this, for to succeed, you must introduce to the marketplace some product which stands out and changes things for the better. It will require that you think differently and BE differently than what surrounds you. It will also require that you act upon your environment more than it acts upon you. If you don’t have the will for this, the world of entrepreneurship may not be the place for you and the world needs those content with life as employees operating in the background. Character in an employee is a plus. Character in an entrepreneur is a must.
I list aspects of character. It is:
- Courage
- Integrity
- Authenticity
- Humility
- Honor
- Trustworthiness
- Transparency
- Willingness to work hard/Work Ethic
- Altruism
- Patience
- Compassion
- Kindness
- Brotherhood/Sisterhood
- Being a team player
- Responsibility
- Never making excuses
- Perseverance
- Passion
- Loyalty
- Gratefulness
- Grace and Mercy
- Respect
- Generosity
- Sacrifice
- Commitment
- Dependability
- Fairness
- Optimism
Wikipedia describes Personal Development as:
“Personal Development covers activities that improve awareness and identity, develops talents and potential, builds human capital and facilitates employability, enhance the quality of life and contribute to the realization of dreams and aspirations.”
It is sometimes called self-help, which is slightly different than therapy which is pain resolution and healing focused, because at this level only you can really help yourself. Just like a fitness trainer can encourage and guide you, but he or she can not and will not lift those weights for you and expect you to build muscles. There are many professionals in the field of personal development to assist you in the same manner, such as mentors and life coaches, but it is you taking the reigns and initiative on your own development to reach your highest self and peak potential. No one can make that decision for you, but you. You must arrive at the impasse where mediocrity and merely surviving and existing will no longer do. You must arrive at the place where not being the man or woman that your family, your community, and your lover needs and deserves is no longer acceptable.
If you have reached this crucible in your life, then you are ready for personal development and all the benefits that character can avail. You will not be able to be an effective leader without character. If you are going to be a leader, you can not afford to be average. While you do not need to engage in self-righteous and patronizing behavior, those who ascend to leadership get there because their character stature is a little taller than the general population. They stand out, and people look up to them and place their hopes on the shoulders of those willing and able to rise up as leaders. When they stand up, they lift the hopes of the entire community with them. In these rare individuals, people see a living example of the best that we are able to be and maybe should be. While not perfect, for no one is perfect, those with character are a living ideal that most people have of what a good man or good woman should be that most people do not live up to. Because of this, more will be expected of you than the average person because you are a leader. Those who accept this call to greatness are rewarded with riches and power. Politicians running for office will seek your endorsement when often your character stature will be taller than theirs. They only want to borrow your credibility, but they can never borrow your character.
This process of personal development is not some New-Age, motivational seminar fad, it is the core of the ancient art of “alchemy” which is one of the core disciplines of The Freemasons, from which Benjamin Franklin, George Washington and 13 other U.S. presidents, nearly one-third of the 45 presidents rose to greatness through. Prior to The Freemasons, practitioners of Alchemy who called themselves the “Alchemists” included Leonardo Da Vinci and Sir Isaac Newton. Alchemy is the ritual art of turning lead into gold through chemical reactions. Whether or not they were able to produce “Fool's Gold” or real gold, I am not sure. However, the process is symbolic to the practice of personal development, taking the lead of a common man, which we all have within us, and transmuting it into men of golden character worth their weight in gold. The art goes even far back to its origins in ancient Egypt which was then known as “Kemet” from which “Alchemy” gets its name, “Al-Kemet” meaning “Art of The Black Lands”. The word, “Chemistry” is derived from the word, “Alchemy”. There is indeed gold in you. Before you go mining for gold anywhere else, be sure that you begin mining the gold that is within you. Make it your commitment to not let that gold go buried with you in the grave before you unbury it in this life and give it to the world.
GOALS
So where does one start to begin the process of personal development? Establishing goals are a necessary first step. They should be feasible and yet challenge you and stretch the limits of what you believe your capacities to be. Always set S.M.A.R.T. goals:
Specific- Translate your goal into a number and/or vivid picture, something definite that will confirm to to you when you have achieved.
Measurable- Be able to track your progress and monitor it regularly. In a journey, it helps with focus and motivation to know how far you have to go and how far you have come.
Attainable- If you believe in its possibility, then it is already halfway attained. The other half is researching and mapping out a step-by-step strategy between where you are now and your goal. If you can do this, understand it, visualize it and believe it, it is attainable. Don't let anyone convince you that you can't have it or that you don't deserve it. Claim it as already yours. You just need to go pick it up.
“You have stayed long enough at this mountain. Break camp and advance into the hill country of the Amorites; go to all the neighboring peoples in the Arabah, in the mountains, in the western foothills, in the Negev and along the coast, to the land of the Canaanites and to Lebanon, as far as the great river, the Euphrates. See, I have given you this land. Go in and take possession of the land the Lord swore he would give to your fathers—to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob—and to their descendants after them.” -Deuteronomy 1:6-8
Revisable- Have backup plans. Never change your destination, but if need be, be open to changing your route and maybe even your vehicle if you find one that works better.
Timely- Your goal should have a deadline and stay focused on it.
For the cause of personal development, it doesn’t really matter what the goal is, only that it gets you into the habit of achieving, stretching your abilities, and most importantly honoring the commitments you make to yourself. This is like weight lifting for your willpower and confidence, and you want to build that muscle to the point that you feel that you can will anything, because in truth, you really can. However, if you can not start off bench pressing 300 lbs, then don’t start there. What do you know you can lift? Then reach for 10% more, and keep reaching goal after goal until you are bench pressing 300 lbs. or more. Never set a limit upon yourself. Allow GOD (the universe) to do that with the time you are allotted upon this earth plane and make it your goal to then max out in whatever that is.
COMPASS
You didn’t birth yourself into this world did you? Nor should you expect yourself to go through this life and tackle personal development without the help of others. However, be careful of the types of people you bring to this process. You will need four roles like the four points on a compass.
NORTH- The Mentor or Life Coach: This should be someone who has achieved something similar to what you wish to or is at least further along in the process than you are, who can guide you, encourage you, challenge you and hold you accountable. This person is your Northpoint.
SOUTH- The Precautionary Tale: If you do not choose to grow, what will become of you given the current trajectory you are on? Surely you know a person who represents this. As the saying goes, “You can learn a lot from a dummy.” Observe them more than you listen to them and do the exact opposite. Never let them on to fact that they are your precautionary tale unless they voluntarily wish to serve as this role for you. There are some who have failed so terribly that they gain meaning and purpose from it by warning others not to follow their path and how to avoid it. They may believe they have no chance, but perhaps they see that you do if you make the decision to do differently. Take them as a harsh reality you will need whenever the lure toward comfort and complacency becomes too strong. They are your Southpoint.
WEST- The Road Partner: Find someone who is about at your same level of development who is also choosing to grow and form a pact with them. When you see them backsliding, encourage them with your perseverance and positive energy, and allow them do the same for you when you need it most. Your mantra with them should be, “If he/she can, then certainly I can.” Don’t ever let them leave you behind and don’t leave them behind either, unless they make the decision to stop growing, at which point, disconnect from them and find another road partner. Be accountable to them as well. Check in with them daily to report what you each accomplished for the day. They are your Westpoint.
EAST- The Motivator: This person or people must be an object of love for you who need and deserve you at your best. This could be you children, or a spouse, a parent or a love interest, someone with whom it would break your heart if you ever let them down. Keep a picture of them on you at all times if you ever need to reflect on why you are doing this. Allow them to also hold you accountable and give you peps talks when you need it. It helps a lot if they believe in you. This is your Eastpoint.
ENVIRONMENT
Once you have your goals and your compass, it helps a lot to immerse yourself into a community of winners and achievers and others who are doing the hard work on themselves. Their stories will inspire you. You should disengage from any toxic and dying environment of those who are going nowhere fast with their lives other than that one precautionary tale you’ll need every now and then to scare you straight. You can find these communities in the military, weight loss groups, fraternities and sororities, church groups, AA groups and sports leagues. I happen to belong to The Mankind Project, a fraternity which provides men with both therapy and personal development assistance in a brotherly support network. In Atlanta, GA, husbands Juan and Gee Smalls have formed the The Gentlemen’s Foundation as an outlet for this purpose for Black Gay/Bi/SGL men of Atlanta. If you are able to join the Freemasons, that is also a great environment for personal development.
PURPOSE
Many will never stand up to be big until there is some compelling cause to be or there is no alternative. If it is your intention then to build character, you will need a good reason to do so and it must go far beyond the span of your life and your selfish, personal desires and aspirations. You will not become big until you decide to live for something big, bigger than you. This is what BEing the change you want to see in the world is all about. Instead of complaining about the world as it is, those who are building character get to work at creating a change so those who follow behind them will have an even better opportunity at life. By doing so, they participate in the evolutionary thrust of life. Our lives today are many times easier than life was 100 years ago or more because people now long dead thought about a better, easier world for generations at that time yet unborn. Frederick Douglass and Harriet Tubman fought with all the life energy they could muster against the institution of slavery not just for their own freedom, and not just for the 3 million men, women and children living as slaves at that time, but for all future generations of African Americans. By rising for this purpose, they lived as gods and goddesses on earth. For most of them, the credit of leaving their world a little better than they found it and had to experience it was the greatest payment their souls could ever be granted. It made known to them that they had lived for something. Their existence had purpose and worth. It is this that really gets men and women up in the morning to fight another day and nothing can conquer them. Make it your business to find this for yourself.
HARDSHIPS
Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor --
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair. -Langston Hughes “Mother To Son”
Life is not all about “The Struggle” but name any character giant and you will find someone who is duly familiar with it and wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. It is what made them who they are. It was their crucible. When life handed them lemons, they made lemonade and it was the best that anyone had ever tasted. Want to know their secret sauce? It’s in “The Struggle”. The Struggle takes many variations and is not always poverty. Sometimes it is illness, a handicap, heartbreak, loneliness, a streak of failure, a demeaning job, or domestic abuse as in the case of Tina Turner, or child molestation as in the case of Oprah Winfrey. Whatever the case, these moments are rich with lessons and character building manure. If character is such a prize, and it is, you must be willing to pay a price for it. Everyone wants to go down in the history books but few really want to pay admission. Now, you don’t need to go looking for hardships. Life will hand them to you when you need them. But when it does, it is then your job to embrace it and look for the lesson. Learn “through” it and move on. The only thing to do here is to change your attitude about it. Say, “This is my bootcamp and I am ready.” and trust that it is not forever for trouble don’t last always. While it is good if it humbles you, you don’t need to be ashamed or embarrassed about it either. Anyone who would ridicule you for it is someone who is small and can’t help you. They can only help you to feel as small as they really are. You are not your struggle. You are not poor, though you may be experiencing poverty. You are not a victim, though you may be learning very painfully how you ought to be treated through the experience of abuse. Had you already internalized that lesson, no one could ever abuse you in any way shape or form to begin with. Your hardships arrive to strengthen you where you are weak. In this case, you will never have any hardship that you don’t need. Let it chisel a masterpiece out of you. One day your scars will be beauty marks.
MIND
As always, I give great resources of information to sow into you mind while on your journey. The self-help or self-actualization lit genre is vast with greats. However, I have list of favs worth spending time with:
- Proverbs
- The Alchemist
- The Science of Being Great
- The Seat of The Soul
- The Four Agreements
- The Science of Getting Rich (Money)
- Body For Life (Fitness)
- The Power of Now
- Awaken The Giant Within
- A New Earth
- Think and Grow Rich (Money)
- Think and Grow Rich, A Black Choice (Money)
- The Measure Of A Man by Sydney Portier
- The Measure Of A Man by Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Goal-Setting, Achieving and Discipline)
- How To Win Friends and Influence People (Social and Relationships)
Don't live your life in vain. Make it count!
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